Saturday, February 12, 2011

Our Journey in Vows

His turn:
Jaime and I have decided that we are going to write our own vows. In some ways this task was very easy. I know how I feel about Jaime and I knew many things that I could say about her. In this lies the difficulty. There are just so many amazing things about her and yet so little space to say what I want to say. Well I finally think that I have finished writing them, but who is to say that I won't change my mind on a few items. Revise them just a little bit. I mean, a wedding is a huge task and you want everything to go perfectly. Of course there will always be a few things here and there, a few little mishaps, however the vows are the one thing that you can control. You can not control a crazy aunt, or a baby crying in the background. You also can not control what flowers are in season and how everyone else thinks that you should of done this different or that. So the vows have to be perfect, right?
Well as I sat there trying to nitpick and choose what to write it dawned on me. I really am finally going to be able to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. Over the years Jaime and I have had an interesting journey. We didn't quite know what to make of our relationship. We went through periods where we were just friends and comfortable knowing that no matter what we would always be in each other's lives. To wanting to be in a relationship and just not finding a way to make it work. We also had the challenge of dating other people and then suddenly on of us would become single. Yes, life for us was a challenge in many ways but we have always loved each other. I take comfort in the fact that, finally, we are together the way it is meant to be. Destiny finally has caught up to us. I for one know that where love is concerned I have finally made the right choice. Jaime I love you and I vow to always cherish the love that you have shown me.

Her turn:
Sean and I are both fairly prolific. In fact, that is responsible for what brought us together in the first place!
But, for me, stating my most intimate feelings about the guy who knows me best in front of an audience was daunting. Yes, the traditional vows covered the basics, but writing our own vows seemed the write thing to do - but also, for me, a daunting task. 
Having acted in front of audience for a good chunk of my life, I can memorize lines with the best of them. But this is very, very different. Not only would I be writing my "lines" for the wedding, but these aren't just "lines" in the script that is our budding wedding ceremony. These are the most important words I may ever say. They have to be right.
But how on earth do you begin to encompass over a decade of friendship grown into love in a matter of a few minutes?
And even more, how am I going to get through gazing into his eyes, standing before family and friends, and saying what I need to say without bursting into tears?

The truth is, I probably won't get through it without crying. This is not a pledge I take lightly. 

Today, I wrote my vows. 

I wasn't sure how to start, but I knew the jist of it. The point of vows is to clearly state what you are promising. I turned on some soft music (from Disney's Wedding Album - which is largely Disney love songs done elevator-style - not great for weddings, but great for tuning out the world and getting into the romantic mood), booted up the Acer, and started writing. I figured I'd start the way I'd start a letter to Sean.

"My beloved Sean," I started. Soon the words just started flowing and it was hard not to repeat myself when I say how much I love him, how proud I am of him, how I have full confidence that we'll get through life together no matter what it throws at us... 

I guess I never realized that "vows" are really a love letter, and a love letter is really an agreement between two hearts, and marriage is the contract that solidifies what the heart already knows.

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