The Wedding Countdown


Wedding Tickers
Wedding date: August 12, 2012

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Tales from The Bathroom Floor

***I wrote this under my other blog back in April. For some reason, it isn't letting me share it any other way, so I'm reposting it here.***

I've seen way too much of my bathroom floors lately.

It started on Monday night. The week had begun bright and promising, with a great walk and talk with a friend, but car trouble kept me from my awesome Tacoma clients. (Boo hiss!) Come 1am on Tuesday morning, I suddenly needed to more closely inspect my toilet by way of losing my dinner there... over and over for about 6 hours. When even water wouldn't stay down, we packed up and headed to the ER.
After about 6 hours in the ER (where they threw every anti nausea drug they had at me, ending up with what they called a 'migraine cocktail' - after I'd thrown up something that tasted like the saline solution they'd put in via IV...) I was sent home with still more anti nausea meds and explict instructions to not 'chase the nausea' for the next few days.

I don't remember much of Tuesday. Our entire household pretty much slept through it. After The Lady in Grey came to our rescue to let The Impossible Girl run around a bit while My Sailor sat with me in the ER, we all came home and snuggled into bed and slept until dinner time. All three of us...

By Wednesday it had already been - that kind of week.

I was feeling better in the morning and thinking that maybe this was just one of those nasty 24 hour flu bugs. I  planned on going through with all of my appointments.

My Sailor, knowing I had had about 1000 calories in 3 days, thought I was ambitious...

And he was right. By the end of my first appointment, I was so dizzy I could barely stand. So I sat for a while, picked up The Impossible Girl from Child Watch, and went home, canceling or rescheduling my evening appointments.

So one more day of rest it was.

Then I work up Thursday hoping to get to my evening appointments in Tacoma. I was able to keep a homemade smoothie down foe breakfast just fine. But The Impossible Girl was impossible to get to sleep the night before. In fact, she slept from 3am until 7am... That was it. The rest of the night was a screaming fit that would not stop. (Gas pain plus molars plus being a baby is hard.)

Although I hadn't thrown up since Tuesday,  the dizziness struck again (likely due to exhaustion) and long drives at night, spinning rooms, and anti nausea meds don't mix... so again, I was rescheduling my day.

But the day at home was hardly restful. The Impossible Girl was attached to me physically the entire day. And everything was a battle. No, not everything, breakfast was good, but everything else, from getting dressed to walking across a room was accompanied by screaming herself hoarse and tears.

Finally, sitting across the bathroom floor from her as she screamed at me across the room, I absorbed the weight of utter surrender. It just wasn't worth the battle - changing her soiled diaper was not worth this. I knew she was uncomfortable and guessed that was why she was crying, but the prospect of getting her diaper changed was completely overwhelming to my equally as exhausted toddler. She had run across the bathroom away from me and was letting me know how she felt in no uncertain terms. I offered her a hug if she'd come over to me. She didn't, probably (accurately) feeling that I'd sweep her up and change her (god forbid...). So after a good 8 minute stand off of her in of constant tears, I scooted over to her (which elicited half laughter through the tears and hollers) and offered her a hug at her place.

'Meet people where they are.' It wasn't a lesson taught to me in Foster care training. I'm not sure when I figured it out. Maybe it's because that is where most of the people who have greatly influenced my life have met me - where I was, rather than were they may have wanted me to be.

Anyway, it worked. She took me up on that hug. Collapsing into my shoulder. I laid back on the cold tile and hugged her to my chest, rubbing her back.

She stopped hollaring, and just sniffled softly, gradually relaxing. Sure, she still needed a diaper change, but right now, she needed comfort more.

I'm not sure how long we lay like that, against the cold tile floor. My mind filled with the agony of my nearly entire week of canceled work, the intense demands of the last few days, the fact that I still hadn't recovered, My Sailor was also still sick, and - to put the cherry on top- the damn giant great pyrenees would not stop barking all day long, I decided to join her in sniffling a few tears of frustration and surrender for myself- but no more than a few.

It's these moments that feel so big, but are really so fleeting that I understand the test of motherhood. There will come a day when she doesn't come to me for comfort like this, when the house will be too quiet, when everyone will be well and busy again. So, for now, even in the pit, I'll try to remember that the lesson is always - meet her where she is, and she'll come to you. No ulterior motivations. Even if it means spending a few more minutes in a nasty diaper.

We did end up getting outside for a walk (once she let me get her dressed, a few hours later) and picking up a few supplies at the Dollar Store to do a new craft project. (Finger painting!) And all in all, after the stressful day, she finally fell asleep about 30  minutes before her usual bedtime with little to no fight, and I happen to get emails from 4 new prospective clients today.

So maybe today the bathroom floor is exactly where I needed to be.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Shutter Bug and Parking It


The Impossible Girl at Fish Park, running bridges.
I'm pretty lucky that My Sailor is a shutter bug. Honestly, I'm usually so busy living that I forget that these moments are important to record too.  Luckily for me, he has a pretty good. He takes the pictures. I do the editing and sharing. That's the deal.

So, on weekends, we've taken to doing a walk and a small picnic or a mini-road trip somewhere.

Okay, so truth be told, these are both of these are born of necessity. A car ride puts The Impossible Girl to sleep, and, since she is prone to waking up as soon as we park, these car rides can last an hour or more. And walks/hikes are a cheap way to get out of the house when wallets are tight and we're all about at our wits end. But it dawned on me the other day, when a Child Care staff member asked if we take The Impossible Girl on hikes because she LOVES being outside and in the dirt discovering nature whenever she can be.

That was awesome. As much as I complain about her screen time, which is unavoidable in today's world, we get her outside EVERY SINGLE DAY. And not just outside to walk from a parking lot to another indoor location - but actually spending time OUTSIDE. I've always been a nature girl. In fact, we have a camping trip planned and I'm already looking forward to exploring new woods, trails, and what not. 

Fish Park in Poulsbo is one of our usual haunts - usually on a hunt for painted rocks (thanks to the talented folks at Kitsap Rocks) or out for a picnic to let The Impossible Girl burn off some energy.

Last month we were at the fish park quite often -






Hanging out with my favorite little alien.













The Impossible Girl rocking her Angel hoodie - From Disney's Lilo and Stitch series


One of our napping/road trips lead us to Port Townsend for lunch.

  The Impossible Girl quickly discovered the perfect size playground. Usually a bit of a wallflower, she surprised us by diving right in with the other kids, climbing the stairs and riding the slide over and over and over.... you get the jist...




 And wasn't too thrilled when it was time to move on.

She teaches me a lot every day.

A lot about patience.

A lot about guidance.

A lot about courage.

A lot about fear.

A lot about love.

A lot about her.

A lot about marriage.

And a lot about myself.

I guess she's not the only one growing up.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

My Husband The Hero or "I kicked the Sh!T out of it."

Today My Sailor was a real hero.

When our septic tank had some serious issues back in May, I made a trip to the laundromat with The Impossible Girl to do some laundry we couldn't do at home.  Somehow, in balancing baby, laundry, giant change jar and detergent, I didn't check that the lid to the detergent was on all the way... and, of course, it tipped over and spilled all over the inside of the trunk of the T (my trusty 2006 Pontiac Torrent).  I sopped up as much as I could with towels I was going to wash anyway, and decided that the traces of blue goop left over would just have to stay for the moment. The bits that had absorbed into the car were just a new air freshener.

Anyway, more than a month later, I go to pop the trunk and it makes the popping sound, but won't open. There is no key hole as an option to open it either. It's key fob or nothing.

To add to the problem, it's my lean season at work, so the wallet doesn't have wiggle room for car repairs right now - and of course my right brake light is out - and we're going camping with family.

So, being the resourceful gal I am, I Google "how to manually open your tailgate of a 2006 Pontiac Torrent". Turns out my car (for some strange reason) is missing the opening other cars have in order to manually open it from the inside. (Sigh)

Just as I'm about to give up, My Sailor offered to take a look at it.

After about 10 minutes, I hear a loud Bang. Thinking he gave up and just slammed the doors, I come outside to find the back is OPEN!

After high fiving him, and still in a state of complete and utter shock, I asked, "How did you do it?"

"I kicked the shit out of it."

"And it worked?!"

"Yup."

"You should be in IT."

The culprit? The ever changing weather had caused the detergent that was stuck inside the lock of the tailgate to gum up the works.