Gifts, Loss, And the Holiday Season

My Sailor single handed hauling our Christmas Tree home

There are more than a few things I'm thankful for this holiday season. My family is probably the biggest, most prominent one. We get to celebrate Christmas Eve this year all together under one roof. Which was more than I expected at the beginning of the year. As My Sailor's schedule picks up, I'm reminded quickly how much he contributes to helping daily life function around here, and how nice it is to have him home at night. He's been a part of my life since 1999, even though next year will mark only 9 years of marriage. We've been through a lot together, and he still rarely sits back on his laurels to enjoy the life we have. (For example, here he is, hauling our Christmas tree home, while terribly sick with a nasty cold, in the rain and the mud, while I wrangled the toddler. Thanks, Hubert's for the perfect tree! Our traditional smaller place closed this year, so this was a fun, different excursion.)

Balancing on Stumps is the best part of the tree farm!

We also learned that my Uncle passed away in November. Estranged from the family, no one knew for a few weeks. That makes me even more grateful for this little family I have, as well as my family in California. I have some fond memories from holidays where my uncle attended family gatherings. Even though we haven't had contact for the better part of 2 decades now, it's still odd to think of his passing. I'm grateful that I'll always remember him as the fun uncle from my childhood. Loss is still loss.

A lot of folks have asked us what we want for the holidays, and my friend Paul Barrie (of Window To The Magic fame) recently challenged folks for this gift giving this year, and I kind of love it - What if you only gave experiences instead of things?
My other friend also shared a way their family has changed how they view Christmas - "Something you want; Something you need; Something to Wear; Something to Read".
I really like both approaches to gift giving.

Beanie Girl is at that stage where she won't likely be 'disappointed' if she doesn't get a specific toy or gift for the holidays. Last year, her gift from us was a $20 stuffed giraffe. This year, we can likely do a bit more, but I love the 4 things idea. Keep it simple and out of the landfill later in the year. While I haven't settled on the 4 gifts of Christmas for her yet, I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve!

Which brings me to the next thought -
I'm not a great Christmas gift giver.
I'm innately practical, which can make me super hard to shop for and with.
I am at that point where I don't really need 'toys', even though my husband says we 'should' get something 'fun' for Christmas. Especially when friends and family gift us gift cards.
I actually love getting gift cards.
While many see gift cards as gifts with zero thought behind them, I beg to differ. Gift cards are like buying experiences, and helping out with needs you may not even be aware of!
For example,
Beanie girl came home from Forest Preschool Tuesday and started sobbing when I picked her up. Her teachers had no idea what happened, as she'd had fun with her best buddy all day! Once I got her to calm down, she said her hands hurt. Her cotton gloves got soaked and her fingers were red and cold. (Before you, dear readers, ye brave, ye few, fault the teachers, it is MY job to make sure she has adequate gear for the weather, so this is MY fault. They offer hand warmers and lots of shelter to get dry and warm. She is just a busy kiddo and doesn't want to stop for any of that life stuff yet.)

So we tried her pink gloves we'd picked up from Amazon that are insulated and waterproof. Well, they were too big. She may wear a size 5t-6 now in clothes, but she still has 3yr old's hands.
So she did the best she could with them, but they fell off and were getting in the way by the end of the day. Unfortunately, most toddler gloves/mittens on the market are made to be cute - not to withstand the often-blustery Pacific Northwest winters for 4 hours a day, 5 days a week.
She needed new gloves... Waterproof gloves that fit NOW. The Amazon gloves will fit eventually, but we needed a more immediate solution. Amazon Prime wasn't going to be able to help with that. We needed a brick and mortar solution.
But payday was a bit far off still.
Well - my fearless leader at the Y gifted me an REI gift card. We used that to get her gloves, and we'll likely put the rest towards clothes or boots as well as winter wears on. I LOVE REI's gear. It's well made, and usually stylish as well - but honestly, 95% of it is completely out of my price range. Thanks to a gift card yesterday's mittens were free.
So her gift? -The gift of one less big worry on my mind.
Yet it was 'just' a gift card, right?
The gift of a Starbucks gift car?
That's the gift of taking my family out for a hot drink together.The gift of an Amazon Gift card?
That could be the gift of a 2nd car seat, which would be so nice since we won't have to worry about who has the car seat where when we need to move her - and it can benefit our future kiddos as well. The gift of cash or other gift card?
That could turn into groceries or gas or helping us make some experience while we're on vacation before deployments hit the house next year.
The gift of a letter, photo, or card?
Those are the gifts that come right from the heart. They say, "Hey, we're thinking of you" and "Hey, you're important to me".
So if you're a gift card giver, and you think folks will think poorly of you - don't. For our family, that REI gift card gift was heroic in saving her poor fingers. You never know if you're being someone's hero. If you're a card sender or a letter writer - those are magical as well. In this age of super connectivity, you're adding a real human connection into the binary world.
If you're a gift card, letter, card, or hug getter - turn that into an unforgettable experience.
These occasions only come around once a year, and you never know who you'll get to celebrate it with next year - and who you'll be celebrating it without.
Even the Grinch learned it's not about the stuff.