Fun with Photography (or the Lack Thereof)

Tis the season where most young families are donning new gear and heading out with a photographer to the nearest Santa or Christmas Tree Farm...

We have never done this.

Beanie Girl has been in our lives for 3 years and we have never paid anyone to take photos of us. Not once. Not out of lack of desire, but there are a few big things that come into play with all of that family photo togetherness -

#1 You Have to Schedule a Day where You, a Photographer, and Your Family are all in the same place as the same time. I work Monday -Saturday. My Sailor works at least Monday-Friday, with the occasional 24hr+ shift thrown in there every few days (including weekends currently). As an example, this week we do not have a day off together where neither of us is working. I work when people generally don't (most of my clients are before or after business hours since THEY need to work to pay me), and he works whenever the Navy needs him - which is a lot. So we are often high fiving and handing off parenting duties on our way in/out the door, 7 days a week. We try to save 1 day a week for family day, but some days the week just doesn't cooperate- like this week.

Beanie Girl sleeping through out super hero encounter last May.

Summer Outdoor Concert, Silverdale, 2018

#2 You Have to Pay Someone. Everyone deserves a living wage - especially undervalued artists. So I get it. I do. But it seems as soon as we have the spare change to pay someone, something else more urgent crops up - like home repairs, car repairs, or -honestly- a rare date night. (Seriously - we haven't had one of this since April...). So, our best bet would be scheduling it during a vacation/leave, right? But more often than not, that money makes the difference between experiencing something fun as a family, and, well, having fancy photos with everyone smiling and, well, awake. While it would be nice, the memories are the most valuable part of those trips.

#3 You're supposed to, well, coordinate, right? Again, we so rarely buy new clothes (like maybe twice a year for the adults beyond essentials, more often for the kiddo since she grows so fast - she's not even 3 1/2 years old and in 5T solidly now) that asking me to buy coordinating outfits for 1 single shoot is ridiculous.

So while we've gotten lucky in past years with friends and family capturing awesome moments - this year, ya'll will have to live with a heart felt note in your Christmas cards. ;)

Gifts, Loss, And the Holiday Season

My Sailor single handed hauling our Christmas Tree home

There are more than a few things I'm thankful for this holiday season. My family is probably the biggest, most prominent one. We get to celebrate Christmas Eve this year all together under one roof. Which was more than I expected at the beginning of the year. As My Sailor's schedule picks up, I'm reminded quickly how much he contributes to helping daily life function around here, and how nice it is to have him home at night. He's been a part of my life since 1999, even though next year will mark only 9 years of marriage. We've been through a lot together, and he still rarely sits back on his laurels to enjoy the life we have. (For example, here he is, hauling our Christmas tree home, while terribly sick with a nasty cold, in the rain and the mud, while I wrangled the toddler. Thanks, Hubert's for the perfect tree! Our traditional smaller place closed this year, so this was a fun, different excursion.)

Balancing on Stumps is the best part of the tree farm!

We also learned that my Uncle passed away in November. Estranged from the family, no one knew for a few weeks. That makes me even more grateful for this little family I have, as well as my family in California. I have some fond memories from holidays where my uncle attended family gatherings. Even though we haven't had contact for the better part of 2 decades now, it's still odd to think of his passing. I'm grateful that I'll always remember him as the fun uncle from my childhood. Loss is still loss.

A lot of folks have asked us what we want for the holidays, and my friend Paul Barrie (of Window To The Magic fame) recently challenged folks for this gift giving this year, and I kind of love it - What if you only gave experiences instead of things?
My other friend also shared a way their family has changed how they view Christmas - "Something you want; Something you need; Something to Wear; Something to Read".
I really like both approaches to gift giving.

Beanie Girl is at that stage where she won't likely be 'disappointed' if she doesn't get a specific toy or gift for the holidays. Last year, her gift from us was a $20 stuffed giraffe. This year, we can likely do a bit more, but I love the 4 things idea. Keep it simple and out of the landfill later in the year. While I haven't settled on the 4 gifts of Christmas for her yet, I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve!

Which brings me to the next thought -
I'm not a great Christmas gift giver.
I'm innately practical, which can make me super hard to shop for and with.
I am at that point where I don't really need 'toys', even though my husband says we 'should' get something 'fun' for Christmas. Especially when friends and family gift us gift cards.
I actually love getting gift cards.
While many see gift cards as gifts with zero thought behind them, I beg to differ. Gift cards are like buying experiences, and helping out with needs you may not even be aware of!
For example,
Beanie girl came home from Forest Preschool Tuesday and started sobbing when I picked her up. Her teachers had no idea what happened, as she'd had fun with her best buddy all day! Once I got her to calm down, she said her hands hurt. Her cotton gloves got soaked and her fingers were red and cold. (Before you, dear readers, ye brave, ye few, fault the teachers, it is MY job to make sure she has adequate gear for the weather, so this is MY fault. They offer hand warmers and lots of shelter to get dry and warm. She is just a busy kiddo and doesn't want to stop for any of that life stuff yet.)

So we tried her pink gloves we'd picked up from Amazon that are insulated and waterproof. Well, they were too big. She may wear a size 5t-6 now in clothes, but she still has 3yr old's hands.
So she did the best she could with them, but they fell off and were getting in the way by the end of the day. Unfortunately, most toddler gloves/mittens on the market are made to be cute - not to withstand the often-blustery Pacific Northwest winters for 4 hours a day, 5 days a week.
She needed new gloves... Waterproof gloves that fit NOW. The Amazon gloves will fit eventually, but we needed a more immediate solution. Amazon Prime wasn't going to be able to help with that. We needed a brick and mortar solution.
But payday was a bit far off still.
Well - my fearless leader at the Y gifted me an REI gift card. We used that to get her gloves, and we'll likely put the rest towards clothes or boots as well as winter wears on. I LOVE REI's gear. It's well made, and usually stylish as well - but honestly, 95% of it is completely out of my price range. Thanks to a gift card yesterday's mittens were free.
So her gift? -The gift of one less big worry on my mind.
Yet it was 'just' a gift card, right?
The gift of a Starbucks gift car?
That's the gift of taking my family out for a hot drink together.The gift of an Amazon Gift card?
That could be the gift of a 2nd car seat, which would be so nice since we won't have to worry about who has the car seat where when we need to move her - and it can benefit our future kiddos as well. The gift of cash or other gift card?
That could turn into groceries or gas or helping us make some experience while we're on vacation before deployments hit the house next year.
The gift of a letter, photo, or card?
Those are the gifts that come right from the heart. They say, "Hey, we're thinking of you" and "Hey, you're important to me".
So if you're a gift card giver, and you think folks will think poorly of you - don't. For our family, that REI gift card gift was heroic in saving her poor fingers. You never know if you're being someone's hero. If you're a card sender or a letter writer - those are magical as well. In this age of super connectivity, you're adding a real human connection into the binary world.
If you're a gift card, letter, card, or hug getter - turn that into an unforgettable experience.
These occasions only come around once a year, and you never know who you'll get to celebrate it with next year - and who you'll be celebrating it without.
Even the Grinch learned it's not about the stuff.

The "A" Word - MindShift Necessary - Repost

**Originally posted under J's JourneyBook blog, this is being reposted here thanks to some inspirational discussions of late. Originally Written in 2014.**

Let's take a break from all the gym and fitness talk and talk about a subject that weighs on my heart every single day.

Adoption.

I didn't expect this journey to be the greatest challenge to my courage that I've had to date, but it certainly has. Beyond being a divorcee, beyond becoming submariner's wife, beyond relocating, beyond flying solo, beyond any amount of height of jumped on a box or weight lifted, this has truly redefined 'courage' to me. I know it's completely mind-boggling to most when I say that it doesn't really matter to me if I ever have biological children. If it happens, it happens. I'm not burning for the whole pregnancy deal. We're building our family no matter what. And we're adopting. Just as some women have always known they'd have bio kids, as soon as I started entertaining parenthood, I knew I'd adopt. I guess I'm wired differently.

People ask a LOT of questions. Honestly, I don't mind the questions. In fact, I appreciate questions, because it shows an effort to fully understand the process and the people who choose to get involved in the adoption world. As an adoptee, I don't mind talking about it one bit. As an adopting parent, I stay open about it. I'm pretty skilled at fielding questions that are well intentioned (like, "How much will your kids cost if you go international?"as if I'm just dialing up Amazon and ordering a kid 'Made in China' or something, or "Why don't you just go IVF?" as if that's an easy process for a woman or somehow a more 'legitmate' way to build a family rather than embracing kids who are already in the world in dire need of a place to call 'home' and someone to love, guide, and believe in them). 

I've got kind, friendly answers to all of these questions down pat and I don't take offense to the questions.

See, I'd rather people ask questions and show a willingness to understand than jump to conclusions.

Ignorance is not bliss. It's just ignorance.
Now, in defense of those who jump to conclusions - we all jump to conclusions in life. We can't help it. It's part of our protective instincts to evaluate our surroundings (and those who inhabit it) for threats and assets. It's a basic need for survival.  So I get where it comes from.

But I ran into a situation last week that just infuriated me. I can't stand when the ignorance of people about family dynamics make them treat adoption (and, by association, adoptees) as 2nd class citizens. As if creating a family through adoption somehow makes it 'less' of a family. Just because I wasn't my birth parents or my adoptive parents 'Plan A' when it came to family planning... well, you've heard the saying, "Man plans and God laughs," right? What's ment to be as a way of working out.

Little Me, Dad, Brother and a couple of herding dogs in Australia.  If I was never adopted, this picture may never have happened.

So let me ask the biologically related families out there.

Do you love your family members ONLY because you have genetics in common?
Everyone has an opinion about adoption.

So without further ado, you my dear readers (ye brave, ye few) are getting the answers to some of the strong opinions I've been exposed to this last year as we're challenged to adopt.

"White people shouldn't adopt black children. It'll be too hard and you can't possibly understand what it's like to grow up black." - You're right. I don't know what it's like to grow up 'black'. Or Asian, or German, or Mexican, or fill-in-the-ethnicity-that-isn't-on-my-mixed-family-tree-here. The stark color difference seems to just call more attention to families adopting kids with darker skin tones. I only know what it's like to grow up. I know that it's hard. I know that people can be mean. I know that I'll need to ask for help from people who do understand the culture my child comes from better than I do, no matter what that nationality is. Just because a child is a similar skin tone to mine doesn't mean that's any different.  More often than not, these kids (who are in an orphanage or foster care by no fault of their own) will either age out of the system and be left to their own devices, or worse, die from conditions in orphanages across the seas.
So you're saying death or not having a place to go home to are better options than having a loving place to call 'home' even if it's filled with people who don't look like you?
If you have a better solution, I'm all ears.

"Don't adopt overseas! There are SO many kids here who need good homes!" - You're right. There are lots of kids here who need loving homes. Anyone who has been part of a family knows that the bonds are an invisible, guttural tie that binds. Sometimes that guttural feeling crosses streets, blocks, and states. Other times, it crosses oceans.

Brother, Mom, and Little Me. We don't look alike, but it doesn't matter.

"Adopt an infant! The earlier the better! Then you'll get a blank slate and someone who isn't 'damaged.'" Let me spell this out for you. Adoption is a thing born of trauma. There is no way around it. Infants have emotions. In fact, their emotions are completely unguarded and untempered by reason, since they don't have that skill set yet. They don't understand why they are being surrendered or who these strangers gazing lovingly down at them are, be they foster parent, orphanage worker, or adoptive parent. No child is a 'blank slate' ever. With an older child, you can communicate and explain things, and help them reason through things. With an infant, you still have to do that- just later in the game.

Teenage Me. There are some kids out there who have never walked a dog - because they are 'too old' to have a family...

"But you'll miss all those firsts if you adopt older! First steps! First words!" True, there are some 'firsts' that adoptive parents of beyond-infant-age kids don't get. But they get different 'firsts'. The thing is, adoption, like any kind of parenting, isn't really about the parent. It's about the kids. So, if we adopt an older kid, we'll get firsts like - the first genuinely unguarded hug, the first "I love you" that comes genuinely and easily, the first time they ask for help with a problem they are having because they now know they can rely on their parents for help for the first time. Those are just as much worth celebrating, if not even more.

On a personal level, I got a very small taste of this one when I was in a relationship with a single dad. I still recall clearly the day his youngest gave me a hug and said she loved me. I remember the first time his son got a kiss on the cheek from me and turned bright red, smiling from ear to ear. I remember the first time his oldest confided in me about a problem she was having. Each of those experiences were treasured moments in my past - and I still send up prayers for those kids often, despite the fact that it would have been unhealthy for me to be an ongoing presence in their lives. They deserve the chance to bond with a step-mother that is a better match for their father than I was.



Little me - a Christmas with a treasured friend from my childhood. There are kids this age who have never known this kind of joy... because they are 'too old' to be adopted - at 5 years old.

"But Older kids have a history or might have special needs! They could be really screwed up! Doesn't that scare you?" Sure! EVERY parent is scared on some level. It's normal. Even with biological children, you can't protect them from the world entirely. Bad things sometimes happen and our job (as parents) is to make sure we give them coping mechanisms to deal with what the world dishes out and teach them to reach for their dreams. Now, granted, few would choose a child with special needs over a healthy child. Honestly, there are some special needs that I'm not (at this moment) able to deal with, but there are some I know deep down I can figure out. (And you find me an adult who doesn't have a single special need, and I'll lay money that person doesn't have a pulse.) Remember, no child is in the system by fault of their own. Yes, some may have medical/mental needs that their parents couldn't attend to and that's why they were taken away/given up. Some may have had adults that failed them in their lives. Whatever the reason, these kids have experienced loss on a level most people don't see until they become adult-orphans (when their parents pass away). Trust may not come easily to some. It might come too easily because all they want is love. Life doesn't come with guarantees. But that's okay. Trust is something that can grow and can be learned over time. If this sounds like something you'd say (or have said), I challenge you with this one, "What age do you stop needing hearts to call home?" Sure, as a 30 something, I don't depend on my parents for the everyday things, but anyone that has ever lost a parent can tell you that you never stop needing or wanting a loving parent's influence in your life.

"What if you can't bond with them?"  I don't believe in 'return to sender' labels. I believe in building connections where you can and letting time (and consistency) do it's job. We'll find some common ground, no matter how small, and build on that. We'll take our time making sure we find a match that fits with us. Parenting isn't about what you can get. It's about what you can give.

My Brother and Little Me, feeding orphaned lambs on a ranch in Australia. I wouldn't have had my brother if he wasn't adopted as well. We're not biologically related.
 It doesn't matter.

"But isn't adoption expensive?" Actually, there are a LOT of grants and options out there. Adoption through foster care in our state is about $2500 per adoption (not per child since you're paying fees for the services, not a price tag for a child). There are LOTS of ways to raise money for adoption. There is a fabulous book out there, Adopt Without Debt, that has some great ideas for raising money. Like anything in life, you save up for it, or you finance it. It's like anything else. You figure it out if it's important enough to you. You cut corners. You hold garage sales. You change your vacation expectations. And think about it this way, if you're willing to finance a car or a house that is purely a 'thing' that will be part of your everyday life for 6-30 years, why wouldn't you be willing to do what's necessary to bring your child/children home?

In closing -   Adoption is NOT for everyone. I respect that completely. A bad match can do more harm than good.  In fact, in the US, adoption has fallen by 68% over the last 8 years, which is 24% steeper than the rest of the world. The number of children living without families is on the rise all over the world.
Just as IVF or surrogacy or even parenthood is not for everyone.

As an adoptee that got matched with the right family for me, I have seen first hand the kind of healing that happens when adoption works. It's never been about what my brother and I can do for our parents. It's always been about what our parents could do. They changed their lives to change ours because they wanted a family. Adoption is a practice as old as time. As long as there have been orphans, there has been adoption. We see it in nature, and we see it in our world. Nearly 3% of the US population is adopted, but over a million kids around the world are still awaiting homes. Many of them with aren't infants. But, like I said, there is never an age a child doesn't need a place to call home, someone to believe in them, and someone to take the risk of caring. 

So, I ask you, dear readers -
Do you love your family members ONLY because you have genetics in common?

Or is that the LEAST of the reasons why you love your family?

My Sailor, Dad, Me, Brother, and Mom.

There is one thing that everyone seems to agree on though - Children belong in families. No matter what those 'families' look like.

*Special thanks to My Sailor for his encouragement in helping me hit 'publish'. Best team mate ever.*

Lessons from a Little Girl

None of the photos in this blog have been edited or used filters.

Today was family day! Unfortunately, that meant that My Sailor's schedule and mine didn't quite align. My original plan was to take Beanie girl to the last day of the Washington State Fair. But she had other plans.

I was reminded of the unique passage of time called "Toddler Speed" though. In truth, it's kind of a wonderful thing, because it forces me and my kinetic nature to slow down, think a bit more deeply, and engage in a different way. It's not a bad thing at all (though markedly inconvienent when I have plans, of course).

The morning started off with cuddling in bed (so I could steal an extra bit of sleep), and then playing in her room with her horses. I was in a hurry to get her dressed, but she wasn't interested in it at all. She wanted to run her horse toys and plush unicorns around a castle poster as if we were racing them outside, up and down the castle spires. Our toy beasts even seemed to struggle to make it to the top (but the effort was rewarded by making it to the top every time, of course).

Then my horse lead the way as it trotted from her room into the kitchen. I figured getting her dressed might be easier with a full belly. But she had no appetite for breakfast at all. Instead, she wanted to paint (a favorite pass time). I put down a piece of paper and got her all set up to paint for a few minutes, figuring if she got paint on her shirt it would be an easy excuse to get her on board with changing it.

To help expedite the process, I encouraged her by setting up my toy horse in front of her and saying, "Let's paint the horse! What color is he? Brown?" I foolishly assumed it she would paint a picture of the horse on the paper in front of her. Instead, she literally proceeded to paint the horse. I tried to direct her efforts to the paper, but it was too late; I had already put the idea in her head. And honestly, I didn't have a problem with her painting her toy. (In fact, it reminded me that she may enjoy painting ceramics sometime.)

Instead of a fully belly and changed clothes, it turned into a lesson in fun, art, and bathing.

By the time we were finally ready to leave the house, we'd have very little time at the fair. She fell asleep in the car quickly so I decided to take a little drive.  I remembered that Port Gamble had a Farmer's Market on Sunday that I always wanted to try, and a large playground that should be dry enough to enjoy. So that's where we stopped.

And the day couldn't have been more stunning. A slightly breeze 60 degrees was perfect enough to see the leaves change. I was reminded why I love it so much here. Beanie Girl met a new milestone on the play ground - swinging in her first big kid swing!

We got to go to the local Farmer's Market. It turns out this was their 2nd to last weekend, and there were only 4 vendors, but it was still worth the trip. After a good hour on the playground, the cold, locally sourced, couldn't-get-any-fresher hand squeezed and shaken lemonade was just what the doctor ordered.  We also picked up a basket of fresh, local cherry and grape tomatoes. $10 for the Lemonade and the tomatoes. Not cheap, but so completely worth it. Both were devoured in a little make shift picnic before we would go home.

I let her lead the way on our tour of the town. We walked over grassy knolls and beside busy streets.  She discovered the fun of kicking and shuffling at mounds of fallen leaves. (This is sure to be a fun season at Forest Preschool I bet!)  Beanie Girl even picked up a Not A Stick (click here to check out what that means - it's something fun they learned in school that we love at home)

Fall is the BEST time!

We eventually made our way around to the main strip and the shops. We stopped in and got 2 hard boiled eggs and a kids cup of whatever-flavor-was-pink ice cream. (I think it was cotton candy?) I told her we were going to find a place to sit down and eat, and that she could pick the table. Not a bad view for a picnic. That ran about $6.

Busy peeling an egg

view from our table.

We finished up our trip by playing hide and seek around a large tree in a park for about half an hour.

We came home and I pushed her in the hammock in the back yard for a while. We had fun pulling up the ivy that has been taking over our lawn little by little, as it tries to every year.

And we topped off the evening by having a picnic on the floor of reheated left overs for dinner, and spending about an hour working on potty training skills before bed. 

To my surprise, she was out by 8pm. (Of course, she's been up 3 times since then due to bad dreams and sleep walking, but I'm hopeful that she's finally actually out for the night now.

Setting aside family time is fun and incredibly enlightening. I was the one that found myself quietly impatient while she was on the swing for what felt like forever. Or when she was playing in her room in the morning. Or when we were playing hide and seek and she was begging for just 1 more game.

I realized quickly that life so deeply ingrains that 'hustle' in us that sometimes we forget to slow down and take the time for the important things - like playing Not A Stick, paint the horse, or hide and seek. My plan to go to the fair would have involved much more money, time in the car, and hustle from thing to thing. Today meandered. Sometimes I forget the kind of valuable discovers you can make when life isn't planned out to the minute.

Thanks for reminding me, little girl.

Into the Woods - For Preschool

We hunted for a long time for child care out here on the Penninsula. Honestly, it's like everywhere else in the world. It's incredibly expensive (and the waiting list for military is years long). And honestly, it should be expensive. These folks are teaching the next generation - arguably one of the most important jobs in any society. And, hell, I'm exhausted after a day with my daughter. I couldn't imagine being in a class room with a gaggle of even more youthful energy as well!

Last summer, we tried out a local Forest Preschool as an affordable option. It covers care from 9am-1pm, giving me a good chunk of the day to do some adulting stuff, so we're continuing it 5 days a week now.

So, what is Forest School?
It's a preschool-K that is run completely outdoors. With no building to keep up, there is a little less overhead, making it a cost effective option for parents, and with a 6 kids to 1 adult ratio, there is a close eye being kept on everyone.

My favorite part about it is that it's more child led learning.
Think about it this way - When a kid picks something up and asks "What's this?" They will likely listen and understand the answer. If the kid isn't interested in something, you can pick it up and wave the same object at them all day and they likely won't give a rip about whatever you're trying to tell them.  Yes, of course some concepts need to be introduced, but kids are really good about exploring. We just have to be there when they are ready.

So, they just play outside all day?
Mostly, yes. There are some structured activities (beach time, story time, music time, lunch time), but playing is a vital - and all too often LOST life lesson to learn. No, kids aren't born knowing how to play. It's a skill! In fact, kids are so over scheduled now-a-days, that play often gets missed. Gone are the "play until the street lights come on" days, sadly. More play is a good thing.  Kids learn BIG lessons while playing. Solve problems (learning cooperation, resourcefulness, basic engineering, and language). We've seen The Impossible Girl's learning grow by leaps and bounds. (And no nap time means that she comes home tired, and sleeps through the night!)

Story time at summer camp

Finding crabs during beach time!

Making Clay creations.

Making Friends.

So what about the weather?
Yeah, in Washington it gets cold, and rainy, and occasionally snowy and icy. But the kids are usually outfitted in brightly colored rain suits like these. It makes them easy to spot and keeps the weather trouble to a minimum.  (The photos above were taken during the summer camp program, where they wore brightly colored smocks instead.) The kids do have a place they can duck into if they need to get away from the weather, or just have some quiet time. The Impossible Girl doesn't like crowds. She drags us out of crowded areas fairly often in everyday life, so I imagine she would prefer this to a classroom of 15+ kids to 1 teacher.

As you may recall, The Impossible Girl also was sick just about every other week during her first year and a half of life. Funny - since she's been going to Forest school (4 weeks in the summer and half way through a full week now), she hasn't really been sick. Now, it may be that she got all those germs when she was tiny, but I can definitely see how this feels "cleaner". During cold and flu season, they aren't all coughing on the same stick and passing it around, ya know? Fresh air is so good for us - I suspect it's easy to feel too protective of little ones and forget that.

So we invested in good rain boots and we're giving it a go full time. So far, she's loving it. In fact, my kid who rarely talks to adults, decided to chatter off the ear of a teacher yesterday! I'd say that's progress!

Freeze Dance

The Impossible Girl has this great little toy that plays music to dance to. She loves to push the buttons until it plays a Freeze Dance.

Music goes off until the announcer says "Freeze!" and it's quiet until the music and the dancing kicks in again. It's her favorite dance and it's too cute not to be dragged into it.

Today was a freeze dance for sure. Yesterday, the good ole' T broke down. AAA towed it to a shop and I waited all day for results. Near the end of today we learned it's likely a computer issue that this shop isn't equipped to handle. They were kind enough to give me a few days to figure out how to tow it to the dealership for possible review, but odds are the repair will cost more than the car is worth at this point. We weren't planning to buy a new car for hopefully 2 years, much less have it all put together to get a new (to us) one in a few days. But it looks as if we'll be heading that direction quickly. I've spend the evening reshuffling the client load and looking up the bus route to and from the local YMCA so I have a plan for tomorrow evening. Toddler's first ride on a public bus! This could be an adventure. (Luckily, there is no Forest Preschool this week, so 1 less thing to shuttle to and from while we figure out our next car-venture.)

In the mean time, an annual check up with my doctor quickly turned into a biopsy, lab tests, and an appointment for a saline infusion ultrasound. I'm no stranger to these kinds of work ups, though today's wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

In the overwhelming craziness of the past 2 days, it is so easy to just freeze up.

BUT as we navigated all that, My Sailor took the Impossible Girl to the park while I was at the appointment.

We had small victories in potty training, and were able to sit down to lunch together before My Sailor went off to work.

There is a saying in military life - Shit hits the fan once the ship deploys. (Literally, something big breaks or someone gets sick or something happens within 48 hours of them leaving - WITHOUT FAIL no matter how prepared we try to be.) Hopefully we're getting our shit out of the way before the boat leaves. ;)

What Life Looks Like - Deployment Light

qLife is a constant game of adaptation. Perhaps that's never more true than with military families. As My Sailor has rejoined a submarine, we say farewell to the easy world of shore duty, and hello to crazy schedules, long nights, and being ships passing in the night. So here's a little snap shot of what life is like as we prepare for the biggest deployment yet - 

We finally found a preschool for the Impossible Girl. We're very excited to share our Forest Preschool experience with other folks.
 The Impossible Girl goes to a preschool without walls. They operate in a local state park, and the kids explore, play, read, create, draw, etc outside from 9am to 1pm. There is a lunch time, but they aren't required to lay down for structured nap time. The idea behind it is sound (and our particular location is run by educators with over a decade of experience in early child development). She often comes home wet from having waded into the surf a bit at the end of the day, or muddy from having played in the mud, or with some traces of clay on her hands and face from having created something marvelous from clay.  Her staple clothing for school are leggings/pants, a fleece hoodie, suncscreen and bug repellant. She's not afraid of bugs anymore, and her vocabulary has gone through the roof. Her classmates range in age from 2.5 years old to 6 years old. She is one of the younger ones, but she learns from others and makes friends.

It's been a great place for her. Our area lacks public preschool services (unless you child has an IEP or falls under the poverty line - luckily we aren't in those positions), so this was the best solution. While most in the area run $500+ for 3 hours of school a day, 3 days a week (where they may or may not spend an hour outside), for nearly the same amount of money - she gets Forest Preschool for 5 days a week, 4 hours a day, and will be spending all of it outside.

I know you're already wondering, "but you live in Washington! It's going to be rainy and wet and cold!"
 Well, part of registration includes a rain suite that covers her ankle to hood. Like their bright yellow vests they wear during the summer time, these suits are also brightly colored, making it easy to spot the kids in the woods. And if the weather gets too ugly, they do have the option to go inside to cabin with a furnace to keep warm, but they aren't confined to a room. She's never loved being confined, so it fits us well.

So while she's in school, I'll have 4 hours to work (and workout - wahoo!) and get things done. Meanwhile, My Sailor is working a 4pm to midnight, so he's recovering. I get off work and pick up the kiddo (who is usually exahusted, so a snack in the car and then she crashes for a nap).

The next 1-2 hours are the family time for the day. Then My Sailor and/or I head off to work again. I use my Child Watch hours to see clients until 6pm ish, and then it's home for dinner and bed time. I try to be asleep before My Sailor comes home, but it's nice when he gets off early enough to chat for a bit before my head hits the pillow. Right now, he has weekends off, but I work the majority of Saturday, so we reserve Sunday for Family Day.

We know that soon enough, "Family Day" will mean the Impossible Girl and I recoup and reset.

But for now, we're consider ourselves impossibly lucky.